There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
is it fun? or sober?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
