dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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