i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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