Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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