You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
