Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
