A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
high people should be assigned attendants
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
