I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
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You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
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Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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