Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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