He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She told me I should be a condom model.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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