come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Randomize
