That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize