Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
So much rum. So many feels.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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