I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
