I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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