im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
