oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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