reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
