I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
