god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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