We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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