you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
