He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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