mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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