And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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