so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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