3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
The power of my boobs compel you
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
