good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
