I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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