I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
