everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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