You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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