So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
