C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
sex in a hospital.. check
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
