Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
