she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
My ass is underappreciated
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
