Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
