I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
