also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
