i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
