so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
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My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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