last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
