Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
