i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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