I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Sober January is a disaster.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
