You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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