508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
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