Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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