Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
