my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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