Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
