Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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