Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Randomize
