Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
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