Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
