The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
