My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
