i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
