Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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