I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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