Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
