no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
