i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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