this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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