He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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