Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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