I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
