Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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